Entertainment for the Braindead, “Way Out”

     Her melancholic lullabies never left my playlist ever since I discovered her free albums five years ago. Ever since then, I graciously waited and listened as she explored new ways to express the fragility of one’s introverted soul against the demands of the world outside. Her sounds, her voices, her words speaks of experiences current music refuse to acknowledge– the rejection of friendship, the submission to peaceful yet hostile solitude, and the cracked views of beauty one sees in his or her maladapted soul. No, not even the deviance of so-called rock music can express the broken silences she gives melody to, such as the long, untraversed roads, the peace in drowning, the escape in sleeping. Rock music is enjoyed with a community. Her melodies are best enjoyed for what their experiences evoked: in solitude, in meditation of what could be and what could not be as you sit alone everyday in breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

     Her songs are for me the first of its kind to express what people like me have endured for years.

     It is a challenge however to listen to the lyrics of her songs, since she seems to whisper the tunes in soft and gentle tones. It is not a problem for me really, since you are as swept away as much by the softness of her voice as the lyrics of her sounds. But along the way, you get to recognize phrases from her that knock on the panic room of your heart and beg you to listen.

       Here are the lyrics for her song “Way Out,” as released in the second album of her Postcard series, entitled “Istanbul– Songs for the Homesick.”

it is scary to see the world spinning faster
and faster around me – now you are here,
tomorrow you‘re gone
and I can‘t really tell if I‘m really awake or
still curled up and dreaming
between what I‘ve lost
and what I have won

what am I here for? what have I become?
is this the right path to be upon?
what am I here for? what have I become? Is this the right path to be stumbling along?

Though I scream seize the day! I will linger till dust,

Till it all went away, and nothing’s been changed,

Nothing’s been done, and I’ll procrastinate

all important decisions until it is too late

for now chances are near, tomorrow, they’re gone.

my tendency to analyze, my pressing
urge to do it right, they only leave me
paralyzed, they only leave me petrified.
my tendency to analyze, my pressing
urge to do it right, they only leave me
paralyzed, they only leave me petrified.
what am I here for? what‘s it all about?

is there a right way or an easy way out?
what am I here for? what‘s it all about?
show me the right way or an easy way
out

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